The Parents

The Parents

Mother and Father met when they were both in Chicago together. They settled in Georgia but neither of them were from Georgia. There is a running joke in the family that they were on their way to Florida and stayed for the peaches because my mom makes the best peach cobbler in the planet, bar none, till the end of time, I will fight you.

My father used to work with press brakes for a company that is long since extinct. He also has worked with die and forming, machining, and basically anything that requires a motor. When Pete was growing up he would always buy cars and run them to the ground, tow them to my parents house and my father would have it up and running by the end of the week.

My mother has always been a cook but the stern voice of the household. She was raising us and brought two of us to a rally when she was in her twenties because there was a problem with women’s wages at the time. We think this was the biggest influence on Claire when she was growing up because she’s always been the burning bras type. She definitely got that free spirit from momma.

The two of them together raised a pretty great group of kids. While they have 6 kids between the two of them and regret nothing, they are always talking about how we should ‘stay safe’ and not rush into anything until we are ready. She’s one of my favorite people.

For me I guess you could say I’m a momma’s girl. I love helping her cook, or trying to. I’ll often dip a finger in whatever she’s cooking and you can see on my hands that my right one is a little bit more calloused as a result of my mommas swift hand. She’s either caressing your cheek or slapping your hand and was quick to dole out both, except to Jimbo, she never once hit him nor raised his voice at him and you can tell he really appreciates it.

I would have to say my favorite Thanksgiving memory with them so far was in 2001 when all of the sudden Pete lets out this huge fart when he’s sleeping and we’re cleaning up the table and the next thing you know the whole house is ripping and tearing their pants trying to squeeze out their best farts and it was the last time I’ve ever seen Duke and William laughing and smiling in the same room as they’re both trying to squeeze out the best toot and hold in their cornbread at the same time!

The Bullfrog (Pete)

The Bullfrog (Pete)

Pete is the youngest in the family, and he’s also the shortest and somehow the loudest. So naturally he’s a great salesman. Ever since he was a little kid, it seemed like he was always trying to make as much money as possible with the least amount of effort.

When he was in high school, he was the only one in our class to go to business school and pass with masters. He lived in New York for a little bit while Claire was there but didn’t go with her to California. Instead, he went down to Florida for a little bit where he began working with vacuum trucks for sale.

From there he has slowly been building up his empire with the vacuum truck company at the time until he left to begin working in the Carolinas. He says there is a better business and more money to be made there. Sometimes I feel like he’s going to drive himself mad wit hall of the money he’s making. I know for a fact that he loves our parents and that he is paying for the house they live in now and keeping the roof over their heads.

We talk pretty regularly, but he always sounds like he’s drinking too much coffee and he’s always chewing gum. But it’s so nice to see him when he’s here for Thanksgiving because he sleeps the whole time. He takes the whole weekend off, he gets here the Wednesday of and doesn’t leave until Sunday, and he always turns his phone off.

He brings his wife with him, but I don’t know if he’s ready to have a kid yet. But he’s talked about wanting to have a kid, and I know he wants to, but I think he’s still in that manifest part of his life where he wants to make sure all his ducks are in a row before he settles.

Once he told me that life is like a ladder and that you only stop at the rung you choose. Then it becomes much harder to climb the ladder when you have to carry a wife and kids too. But he is going to climb high and quickly first.

He’s always the most fun, and he just eats so much, possibly more than Tandy, but that remains to be seen. He’s since curbed his appetite because I think he might be having heart problems from all the caffeine and yelling. But he still works out and is the incredibly good shape. He should be here next week!

MEEEEEEeeeee (Allison)

Hi there, my name is Allison, and I’m going to write about me now! I’m the author of this blog for starters, and I have never missed a Thanksgiving with my family. There’s not much in the way of drama and gossip with me. The only thing I ever did was accidentally stab the pete in the leg with a fork, but it was his fault. He sat down on a fork that I had laid on his seat. He was seven, and he deserved it because he was such a big jerk.

I love Thanksgiving, and Christmas time, it’s my favorite time of the year because the whole family gets together and is happy and talks about all the good things that are going on in their lives. I know we all can count our blessings and I think it’s a good time of the year for positive vibes. People are moving on, getting better, doing better things, it’s a time of hope, a time of pursuit and being better than they were before.

You never hear the bad stories during the holidays. Everyone’s together and they get to act nice and be happy, and I feel like there’s assault on happiness in the real world. Nobody smiles, nobody laughs or giggles about things. Heck, even my job can be a little bit gloomy at times.

I work in Patient Education for this great company called MDM Commerical. They provide healthcare solutions for hospitals, so they don’t have to stock them themselves. When you are working in the medical field, you are just always in the back of your mind about death. It’s easy to track because it’s such a stationary position. You help people they get better and move on. Sometimes they don’t, but you always stay there. Clad in white, trying to make everything better.

When you have to deal with all of these problems it makes it much more difficult to be happy and upbeat and this world is such a beautiful place. The good and the bad, it’s an all a miracle in this creation of God, and not enough people appreciate it. So when it comes time for the holidays to be here. We get to hold each other. We get to smile and be happy. When I see my family, I think of being happy. It’s hard to feel that safe and comfortable nowadays. Things are becoming so difficult and trying.

A phrase I often hear thrown around is ‘The human condition.’ When did the human condition become debilitating?

The Second Son (Jimbo)

The Second Son (Jimbo)

Jimbo has always been the odd man out, always been the loser. The Duke doesn’t ever say much, but he said that Jimbo was the sequel, the second son, because his buck teeth make it look like his face is always showing the Roman numeral for 2.

He’s always tried to compete with William and could never hold a candle to my father’s eye. He was the only one who seemed like he would be happy about William leaving after the incident of ’96. But instead, he was very sad because he felt like all eyes were on him.

I’ve always seen him as my kid brother even though he was born a year later than me. But the reason I feel this way is because he’s always been so weak and small especially compared to me which I’m almost as big as the Duke! Some people think that I would be able to beat him in a fight, but I don’t want to get off topic.

He, of course, is closest with Tandy, but he does talk to me from time to time when I have to see him at his job. He works in a semi-fancy job for an air conditioning company. He is currently manager or the supervisor of ‘commercial HVAC services.’ Now I don’t know what that means because I always thought when he spoke that he was just blowing hot air, but apparently, he has a career in A/C.

He never married, in all my life I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him with as much as a girlfriend. It’s funny because he’s always so open and vulnerable with us because he trusts us but I feel like I know less about him than I do my older brother William.

Anyway, he doesn’t live far, but he doesn’t live close either. He lives in Atlanta and I think he’s saving up for something. He came in a few years ago and looked completely different; he received plastic surgery for his cleft lip, but he hasn’t answered anyone where the skin came from for the graft.

It was extremely funny because he had worked so hard to fit in and now Pete and Claire just call him buttface all the time because Claire says that the only way to get skin graft is to get it from your upper thigh near the butt cheeks.

That being said he’s the only person who’s ever skipped a Thanksgiving. A few years ago he skipped Thanksgiving twice and never told anyone. He came back, and a few years after that he had the treatment for the cleft lip, I don’t quite know what happened, but It’s really interesting to speculate upon, but perhaps that would make me too much of a gossip!

The Cougar (William)

The Cougar (William)

Out in the craggy heights of Colorado is the lone Cougar. Long separated from his family, he comes out and speaks to us but one time every year. That man is William and he is my oldest brother. He comes to dinner every year on Thanksgiving without fail and there is always animosity between him and my father.

There was a large falling out between my father and my brother a long time ago and they don’t talk so much after that moment. It isn’t much talked about and we girls will never understand the intricate relationships between a father and son but we wish they would finally get over it.

The year was 1996, William would still make regular trips back home and talk to the family. But this year was different, the day was different too. It was the dead of winter, January actually. January 28 1996 was the day there was a falling out between those two titanic men.

It was the super bowl, my father was a Cowboys fan and my brother is a Steelers fan. It’s important to know that these two men, the Duke and the cougar are spitting images of each other and very much each others blood.

They sat across from each other in silence for three hours. They spent as much time staring at each other as they did watching the screen. IT was almost as if they were vicariously dueling between with the teams that was a battle representing the unbridled rage of people who have no actual qualms with each other.

As the game progressed it became apparent from the first quarter that William would lose this battle .The first quarter the Steelers were down ten points. Second quarter comes around and the game goes to 13-7 Steelers were up some points. The third quarter another 7 went to the Cowboys so now it was 20-7 moving into the fourth quarter. There was hope for my brother yet the game finished 27-17.

It was the only time this happened and I have never seen so much energy exposed from the Duke since. But my father leapt onto the couch and laughed in my brothers face when the Cowboys won and began thrusting his old, rattling hips in his face as a sign of disrespect.

My brother got up and left and did not come back till that Thanksgiving. They don’t talk, the only person who speaks to him is Pete and even then Pete doesn’t like disclosing details about his life.

William apparently works as an outside consultant selling intercom systems for a security company in South Florida. He is apparently happy and there is even rumors that he has kids and a wife but he never tells us because he wants to wound my father. But that’s football I suppose.

As sweet as Candy (Tandy)

Tandy is my sister, the oldest of five. She has been living and working out Georgia all her life. She has a scar above her lip from when she tried to kiss a barbed wire fence once and she has never forgiven the sibling that pushed her nor has that sibling ever came forward. We try not to talk about it.

Tandy is one of the sweetest beings of all time. One of my favorite stories about her has to do with the first time she met the bully Brad Bingham in school.

You see Brad had a problem with Jimbo because jimbo has buckteeth and a clef lip. So he would constantly bully him and say things like he was a donkey in disguise and to watch out for his hind hooves, which is incorrect because they’re called feet on people and not hooves, what a fool Brad was.

So Tandy gets in his face and she tells him to back off citing that if he had a longer forehead that he would have worked at an airline. Little did she know that she was talking to her future husband. He got embarrassed and stopped making fun of Jimbo and they became the best friends of the family.

Now that they’re older things are a little different. They both work for a company that sells knuckle boom loaders and that’s their main source of income. Though every once in a while they will create freelance articles for different websites such as grapple trucks to make extra money on the side.

They lost their first child and are expecting their second. When they lost the first child they thought all was lost, but then the little jerk emerged from the closet and said ‘Here I am!’ it was a great game of hide and seek and in no way misleading.

They usually bring broccoli casserole to thanksgiving which is quickly becoming a fan favorite among everyone. Even Pete who loves to add extra helpings of sweet potatoes and jalapeños to it to add some spice and kick at the same time.

At thanksgiving every year without fail, Tandy dedicates her first plate to just mashed potatoes and gravy before having a second helping of whatever else she feels like eating. Momma always loves the way she eats but dad has a problem with her taking the lions share of the potatoes every year. We have no idea how she stays so thin when she eats like two lions mating!

Why Hello There!

Why Hello there!

This is my thanksgiving blog for my family and it’s going to be this years 2016. I’ve decided that instead of doing a photo album and remembering the great moments of our lives for this past year, I would make a word album and that way we can always have something to read when we’re on the john!

For now, le’ts have a brief little introduction and have a shoutout to the fine development team that’s helping me with the forming of this blog. All I do is write these little articles and Social Agency, web designers in Fort Lauderdale, help putting it on the page. They make the process very easy and it’s a great way for us to make this a little more streamlined.

Now for our players. My family consists of

William, Jimbo, Tandy, Claire, and Pete. My name is Allison and those were my siblings. My parents, Maryann and Deaf Bob (The duke) are the ones hosting again this year. They never want people to host at their homes so they area always hosting. The picture at the top of the screen is the road away from their home!

Anyway, we are all living in our own far flung corners of America but we always come together for Thanksgiving and since this years thanksgiving is only a mere few weeks away, it’s a great time for me to begin cracking these knuckels and sending these pages out to those lovely folks down South.

So let’s treat it like one of my plays.

The Place: Georgia, where we begin our scene. The peaches are in the basket and the winter is starting to set in. Down a long and dusky road will be the center stage of our thanksgiving and you dear readers will be the guests through this blog. I invite you to all join us as I bring each character together and speak of how our thanksgiving will unfold.

Maybe they’ll make a movie out of it and we will all be played by famous actors? I hope they get Stan Lee for the Duke!

The brightest Meadow (Claire)

The brightest Meadow (Claire)

Claire is a left-wing, flower-child, loving, care-free, psycho, and I love her completely. She seems like she goes everywhere and always has crazy cool stories from her travels, but she always manages to make it home for Thanksgiving even if she’s usually late for Christmas. To try and give you a brief synopsis of Claire let me just tell you about where she went and lived.

New York – She first worked on the streets of New York with a 4-string, busted, old as sin guitar, singing at st marks place and pissing off the chess players in Washington Square. She would sing randomly and play from a bunch of her learned chords and some that she made up on the spot. She tells me that she would always sing the way people walked and help them by being the soundtrack to their life. She did this for two years and ONLY did that!

Florida – Some time ago she met up with the great Real Estate in Florida Keys and began working for them remotely so she could travel. So now what she does is work for Coldwell Banker Schmitt and play guitar and travel the world without having to pay for much at all. Oh, by the way, did I tell you she got to California by hitchhiking and jumping on the backs of trains? What the heck is this girl thinking?

Chile – She claims she went because she wanted to try the chili. 3/5 stars.

Britain – She lived in Britain for a bit and hated it. She says they’re “Too stuffy and are so concerned about getting to where they’re going that they aren’t ready to let the sunshine into their hearts, that’s probably why it rains there so much.”

France – France is her favorite place, and she says that she feels bad when she’s there because she can’t keep her hands off all of the attractive people there. Though she does think that she would like it better if everyone didn’t smoke so much or drink, or swear in seemingly every language.

Sweden – She was there for Octoberfest and says that they made a pool for swimming in beer and that nobody swam in it because they were too busy scooping it into their glasses to take huge heaving swigs from it. This is where she currently lives, and she’s flying here now. She’s upgraded from piggybacking on trains and boats and instead just bought a ticket this time. I just hope this time she packs for the winter!